strep

um..
so i have strep.

"penicillin is your friend," said my young, blonde, lincoln park doctor. really? is it though? did penicillin bring me a present on my birthday? i'll take it because i know it works, because i know it's sort of a big deal. but i'm not sure that i'll start calling him (her?) my friend.

and three days out of work doesn't feel good. i imagine my kindergarteners walking (running) into the music room to a stranger. they worry when i'm out. i missed a day once earlier this year and they spotted me in the hall the next day while they were filing out of art class and they said the funniest things. "i missed you so much!" said diego with a big hug around my knees. the "so much" part really put it over the edge. "i missed you too, diego!" i said. "ms. levine, you look beautiful today!" said one girl. "thank you!" i said, and when the others caught onto my enthusiastic response they followed suit. "ms. levine, you look beautiful today!" said mario. "ms. levine, you look beautiful today" said vanessa. "ms. levine, you look beautiful today!" said grecia. i said thank you to every one of them as if i'd heard it for the first time. they especially love when i wear dresses.

i saw saman from pars cove on my way back from the doctor today. he had just gotten a haircut. he told me michael and katie are engaged. i don't think there's any way for me to put into words how strange that is. saman called me a stranger for not visiting more often. i will. soon.

anyway, my buddy penicillin is calling. and so are my pillow and blanket.

when i began my unit on the song "strange fruit" (sung by billie holiday) with the middle schoolers, I knew it might be an intense couple of classes for us. the unit began strictly focussing on the song and its context, so that students would be learning about lynching and the way that the song protested the act simply by making its listeners aware of the problem. i allowed students to bring in songs that they believed addressed an issue or a problem in the world, and got a lot of good ones. i decided it might be cool, after we'd talked in depth about protest music, if the students could independently write their own protest songs. this week, we simply brainstormed the worlds big issues and each student chose the one he or she is most passionate about. the popular ones were immigration, domestic violence, and gang violence, and i learned a lot from the writing they gave me during the process.

it was the first time all year that any of the middle schoolers had confided in me. they've been the hardest to reach. some told me stories out loud, as i crouched next to his or her chair in my tiny basement room, and some told me privately on paper. one student saw a child get shot and killed by gang members, and two different girls told me about friends and neighbors who had been shot and killed. one girl's best friend, at 11 years old, hides her 18 year old gang banger boyfriend's guns under her bed for him, and my student is scared and worried for her. there were several other stories that put knots in my chest, including stories involving immigration and the ways their families are suffering, either here with no health insurance, or in mexico with no job opportunities.

the kids were incredibly honest when beginning this project. i'm being sure to keep each student's composition extremely confidential, as i know these stories are important to them. i realize more than ever how scared my kids are all the time. in other classrooms i think i might have had to convince kids that a cause is important. in my school, the kids know first hand why these issues are crucial.

i'm wishing my hamster pooped money

the weather lately is the dingy, wet mop i used to use to clean restaurant floors. gray, cold, wet, heavy, etc. there's lots of snow and hardly any sun, making me feel like a wilting plant.

i've added new vitamins to my diet (aka i finally started taking vitamins regularly). one women's one-a-day plus an extra dose of b12 for "normal brain function." this must mean that before the b12 supplement my brain was functioning abnormally, but then i didn't need an 11 dollar vitamin bottle to that.

i might need a whole bottle daily of b12 to keep up with my kids. the average person has 2.5 children. i've got 491. today, one of the 2nd graders shared his thoughts with me, giving me what is now this entry's subject. "i'd be rich," he said when i asked him why. why did i even question him? if i had a hamster i'd wish he pooped money, too. no two ways about it.

my parents visited chicago this weekend and took will and me to see john prine at the chicago theater. such a beautiful theater - so ancient looking and ornate and shimmery. and john prine is my idea of a real concert. no pyro, no dancing, no costumes. just a couple of men and their instruments playing great music and singing the truth. we came home and played cranium and they left the next day. will and i had a lot of fun.

i've decided i'm sticking to the lower case. i'm not lazy, i'm maybe a bit indie (that could be why - indie type people love the lower case), but mostly i just like the way it looks. no caps, no big deal. just nice, even-toned, relaxed writing, right? i don't care what anyone else thinks.