home alone for the weekend. my best friend is in new hampshire visiting his brother's family. i got out on friday night with a friend from work but otherwise have no motivation to do anything without will. it's just not as fun. what was it like before him? i can hardly remember.
all morning i've been seeing the chicago marathon runners through my window. now, the only people passing by are the stragglers, walking patiently between the big red barriers.
i've always wondered if i could survive a marathon. let me rephrase that - i've always wondered if i would survive a marathon. because with training i believe i could. i love running, i'm healthy. do i want to? not today. maybe someday. until then i'll keep running my five little miles a day on the treadmill, the smell of sweaty jiu jitsu dudes in the air.
earlier this week, a 15 year old shot and killed a 13 year old while he was buying a snack at the store. (here is the article in the tribune.) they were from the school where i had my second interview in chicago. the far south side - bright elementary. bright elementary. what a deceptive name. it's a sad school with bars on the windows and a "no guns or knives of any kind" sign greeting its students and staff at the front door. dirty shoebox houses stand along the streets like a row of prisoners waiting for the firing squad. they were ready to hire me, but the principal's eyes on mine said i'm sure you won't call back. you'll find something else. this is the worst of the worst and you know it. i wish you could do it, but you're afraid you can't. mine answered, i know.
i can't imagine losing students on a regular basis, as many chicago teachers do. they're either very strong or rather numb to it all. you'd have to be one or the other. and i thought i had it tough at west belden. in a lot of ways i still do. standing on the brink of disaster is in some ways more excruciating than staring it in the face.
i'm voting absentee this year. wisconsin needs me more than illinois does. luckily both look like they're headed in the right direction. (or shall i say left?)
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brain damage
i picked up musicophilia written by oliver sacks at the book store. it discusses music from a neurological standpoint. pretty similar to levitin's this is your brain on music so far, only it's included some specific cases of peoples' unique (or maybe not so unique) relationships with music.
in the first chapter sacks hypothesizes that a person's obsession with or special talent for music can be connected to significant damage to the temporal lobe. one man survived a lightning strike to the head and afterwards, at age 42, became so obsessed with chopin he became a self-taught concert pianist and composer. another case involves a woman who began taking anti-epileptic meds intended to "deactivate" parts of the temporal lobe. in turn, her personality changed drastically and so did her taste for music. she became so passionate about classical music she demanded her husband take her to concerts where she was so affected by the music she would sometimes cry.
so, in summary, i have brain damage. something i suspected already.
what he's saying is that people who are passionate about and excel in music need to sort of dismiss the logic of language. they have to let it go and kind of accept music as a language in a way that a fully functional human cannot and dismiss the idea that music is unnecessary or senseless. i think this means i need to find all of the decision makers in education and spike their morning coffee with temporal lobe-ruiners. then maybe they'll give a crap about music programs.
of course, none of this is totally proven. it's only a series of educated guesses by an incredibly intelligent neurologist. no one even began studying music's connection to the brain until 1980. i don't know if i ever want to fully understand the "mechanics" of why we care about music. it could change everything. let it be.
will's at the gym and i'm home. i'd been going every time he goes until i got sick. i can't wait to start running again. anyway, there's lots to do today. sending out mom's gift (finally - happy bday mom), picking up garbage bags and a few other miscellaneous items, ordering a bus card, watching the game later.
go badgers. (oh how i hate ohio.)
in the first chapter sacks hypothesizes that a person's obsession with or special talent for music can be connected to significant damage to the temporal lobe. one man survived a lightning strike to the head and afterwards, at age 42, became so obsessed with chopin he became a self-taught concert pianist and composer. another case involves a woman who began taking anti-epileptic meds intended to "deactivate" parts of the temporal lobe. in turn, her personality changed drastically and so did her taste for music. she became so passionate about classical music she demanded her husband take her to concerts where she was so affected by the music she would sometimes cry.
so, in summary, i have brain damage. something i suspected already.
what he's saying is that people who are passionate about and excel in music need to sort of dismiss the logic of language. they have to let it go and kind of accept music as a language in a way that a fully functional human cannot and dismiss the idea that music is unnecessary or senseless. i think this means i need to find all of the decision makers in education and spike their morning coffee with temporal lobe-ruiners. then maybe they'll give a crap about music programs.
of course, none of this is totally proven. it's only a series of educated guesses by an incredibly intelligent neurologist. no one even began studying music's connection to the brain until 1980. i don't know if i ever want to fully understand the "mechanics" of why we care about music. it could change everything. let it be.
will's at the gym and i'm home. i'd been going every time he goes until i got sick. i can't wait to start running again. anyway, there's lots to do today. sending out mom's gift (finally - happy bday mom), picking up garbage bags and a few other miscellaneous items, ordering a bus card, watching the game later.
go badgers. (oh how i hate ohio.)
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