the new job is great. i take a bus downtown in the morning, look nice while answering phones (with an hour lunch break in between), and bus home. i'm awake in the morning and tired at night, working all week and relaxing on the weekends. i finally feel like i'm in a groove. i work with nice people, and i'm making money.
and there's free coffee.
i can't help but feel a sort of shock after making such an abrupt transition from the service industry to the downtown 9-5. the atmosphere is different. the people are from different worlds. i've gone from socializing in a dark, basement restaurant with the night creatures of chicago to having coffee with the fresh-pressed, white collar crew of the office. i work with fellow office-folk as well as attorneys and salespeople. i'm an actor before i'm a receptionist, having to spend the transition time pretending i'm already one of them. and they're accepting me very quickly. on friday night i had a happy-hour vodka tonic downstairs with three others. i was the only one who didn't ask for top-shelf vodka.
still, looking around the italian restaurant at the bottom level of the high rise at the sea of corporates all behaving the same way, sitting around square tables in their suits and sipping martinis, i can't help wonder if i'm the only actor. somehow i don't think so.
20070129
20070124
journal writing in the corporate cafeteria
it was my first time on the bus as a downtown working girl this morning. it was packed. i could hardly listen to my ipod without the person next to me being able to sing along. and i'd even given myself enough time so that after passing the stop by 5 blocks i had time to walk back and still be early for my first day as a "customer services specialist."
it was a very professional atmosphere. people looked nice, smelled nice. very different than the service industry. for better and for worse, the people are different.
i answered the phones using my phone voice (similar to my interview voice, but less assertive and more like i'm bending over.) i logged faxes and whatnot. ate soup and a sandwich in the downstairs cafeteria with the stale corporate workers and their flatlined conversations. i was dressed the part, and still managed to stick out, writing in my journal with the fancy pen that corporate sent me to fill out my paperwork. doing something as expressive as writing in a journal almost made me feel like i was sitting naked in my chair. but i won't be losing myself just because i have to use the phone voice all day. and it is a great job, and i'm happy to have it.
it was a very professional atmosphere. people looked nice, smelled nice. very different than the service industry. for better and for worse, the people are different.
i answered the phones using my phone voice (similar to my interview voice, but less assertive and more like i'm bending over.) i logged faxes and whatnot. ate soup and a sandwich in the downstairs cafeteria with the stale corporate workers and their flatlined conversations. i was dressed the part, and still managed to stick out, writing in my journal with the fancy pen that corporate sent me to fill out my paperwork. doing something as expressive as writing in a journal almost made me feel like i was sitting naked in my chair. but i won't be losing myself just because i have to use the phone voice all day. and it is a great job, and i'm happy to have it.
20070123
dunder mifflin this is pam
i have a job!
i responded to an ad on craigslist for a receptionist position and was able to schedule an interview the next day. the company is on madison and clark downtown and provides professional space for travelling business people. i was offered the job later that day and i took it. full-time and full benefits. i'm very excited.
the same day, will sealed his first deal at work. we celebrated that night by going out to a bar in wicker park with some of his friends who were visiting from michigan. we drank lots of beer and had some good fun.
sunday we watched the bears beat the saints on a big screen hd tv. we could see every blade of grass. the bears are going to the superbowl! i can't wait to watch them.
today i'm getting my massage that will gave me for xmas. 60 minute-deep tissue massage with a guy named owen at a spa near here. it'll be my first real massage, and i'm sure i need it pretty badly. all those years of violin playing, sleeping on the couch, and anxiety have taken their toll.
time to get ready. more later.
i responded to an ad on craigslist for a receptionist position and was able to schedule an interview the next day. the company is on madison and clark downtown and provides professional space for travelling business people. i was offered the job later that day and i took it. full-time and full benefits. i'm very excited.
the same day, will sealed his first deal at work. we celebrated that night by going out to a bar in wicker park with some of his friends who were visiting from michigan. we drank lots of beer and had some good fun.
sunday we watched the bears beat the saints on a big screen hd tv. we could see every blade of grass. the bears are going to the superbowl! i can't wait to watch them.
today i'm getting my massage that will gave me for xmas. 60 minute-deep tissue massage with a guy named owen at a spa near here. it'll be my first real massage, and i'm sure i need it pretty badly. all those years of violin playing, sleeping on the couch, and anxiety have taken their toll.
time to get ready. more later.
20070116
marriage is usually a bad move.
so i called the chicago tribune guy today. i left a message using my well-rehearsed interview voice. i hope to hear from him today.
i always pictured a lack of money as a shotty southside apartment with empty cupboards and empty closets. this is not the case. it's also a decent sized, well-decorated lincoln park studio with too many shirts for hangers. everything around me, however, is residual. from the days when i had student loan money, red lobster money, whatever.
meanwhile, chris martin croons to me on the radio "nobody said it was easy." and in all fairness, it's followed by "no one ever said it would be so hard."
last night i brought will to meet an old high school friend who just moved to chicago with his new wife. we ate at dunlays and i realized how little i've paid attention to other high school friends' lives in the past five or six years. marriages, divorces, disappearances, etc. speaking of which, a closer friend from high school may be ending his year-long marriage with the girl responsible for his disappearance from my life a few years ago. i'm sad for him that it's not working out. it's kind of funny - in the past i've looked at their wedding pictures on facebook, admiring their love for each other. inevitably it made me feel like there was some hole in my life. it's not that i'm realizing there wasn't a hole, because there was. but, i'm realizing i wasn't looking at what i thought i was looking at in those pictures. they weren't ready, and they weren't sure, maybe. i don't think most people really have that whole thing figured out. and it's not spilled milk. it's a big, messy, expensive mistake to make very early in life.
kinda makes my struggles seem small.
i always pictured a lack of money as a shotty southside apartment with empty cupboards and empty closets. this is not the case. it's also a decent sized, well-decorated lincoln park studio with too many shirts for hangers. everything around me, however, is residual. from the days when i had student loan money, red lobster money, whatever.
meanwhile, chris martin croons to me on the radio "nobody said it was easy." and in all fairness, it's followed by "no one ever said it would be so hard."
last night i brought will to meet an old high school friend who just moved to chicago with his new wife. we ate at dunlays and i realized how little i've paid attention to other high school friends' lives in the past five or six years. marriages, divorces, disappearances, etc. speaking of which, a closer friend from high school may be ending his year-long marriage with the girl responsible for his disappearance from my life a few years ago. i'm sad for him that it's not working out. it's kind of funny - in the past i've looked at their wedding pictures on facebook, admiring their love for each other. inevitably it made me feel like there was some hole in my life. it's not that i'm realizing there wasn't a hole, because there was. but, i'm realizing i wasn't looking at what i thought i was looking at in those pictures. they weren't ready, and they weren't sure, maybe. i don't think most people really have that whole thing figured out. and it's not spilled milk. it's a big, messy, expensive mistake to make very early in life.
kinda makes my struggles seem small.
20070115
wealth
sirius satellite radio is amazing. i'm indecisive, and happy to have someone else choose music for me to listen to. all i have to do is choose the style. today it's jam rock.
my greatest accomplishment so far today was cooking a perfect over-easy egg. the cook at work taught me how to do it without having to flip the egg. sounds impossible, but it isn't. a little water in the pan after the egg cooks for a few minutes, cover it with the heat off. perfection. and no burnt spots or broken yolks.
the bears won yesterday. one more win and they're at the superbowl. i'm excited for them.
i spent the weekend with will. finally heard him play the guitar, which made me smile. he's really good. i can't wait to hear him play on open mic.
i have a full heart and empty pockets. i'll look back someday and realize that's okay. it's better than the opposite. i am the richest one i know today.
my greatest accomplishment so far today was cooking a perfect over-easy egg. the cook at work taught me how to do it without having to flip the egg. sounds impossible, but it isn't. a little water in the pan after the egg cooks for a few minutes, cover it with the heat off. perfection. and no burnt spots or broken yolks.
the bears won yesterday. one more win and they're at the superbowl. i'm excited for them.
i spent the weekend with will. finally heard him play the guitar, which made me smile. he's really good. i can't wait to hear him play on open mic.
i have a full heart and empty pockets. i'll look back someday and realize that's okay. it's better than the opposite. i am the richest one i know today.
20070108
Off-balance
In the material sense, I'm surviving. Nothing more or less. I always have food, even though I rarely buy groceries. Canned soup and pasta go a long way, and I get to eat at the restaurant every night that I work. I have clothes to wear, and to say I'm not happy with my wardrobe doesn't mean much because I never like what I have. I always wish I had something more stylish, more fresh and clean and brand new. If I had any money I think I could become one of those addictive shoppers. Constantly buying new things and never wearing them.
In the emotional sense, I'm thriving. I'm at the top of my game. Will gives me something to look forward to every day. Finding him has been the best luck I've had in years. I wonder sometimes how down I would be right now if it weren't for him to cheer me up after failed interviews and bounced checks. He reminds me this will all pass, and that it will happen for me.
I'm getting excited about the nannying thing. About kids, and Monday through Friday and having nights and weekends to myself instead of long, cloudy days. Getting up late and working at night in a restaurant underground with poor lighting feels tragic. I do what I can for now, but it's just not my style.
I hope to get some offers by the end of the month.
In the emotional sense, I'm thriving. I'm at the top of my game. Will gives me something to look forward to every day. Finding him has been the best luck I've had in years. I wonder sometimes how down I would be right now if it weren't for him to cheer me up after failed interviews and bounced checks. He reminds me this will all pass, and that it will happen for me.
I'm getting excited about the nannying thing. About kids, and Monday through Friday and having nights and weekends to myself instead of long, cloudy days. Getting up late and working at night in a restaurant underground with poor lighting feels tragic. I do what I can for now, but it's just not my style.
I hope to get some offers by the end of the month.
20070103
I'm back.
After more than four months that seemed to fly by, I'm back to the blog. I've had intentions of posting again for a long time, but never found the time or the motivation. A lot has happened since the last post! Here's a quick summary.
I began and ended work at Red Lobster downtown. The job itself was not enjoyable for lots of reasons, but those agonizing 2-3 weeks weren't completely useless. I met Brian, who I became friends with. More importantly, I met Will! Will is a really great guy, and we have a lot in common.
After Red Lobster, I started work at a Persian restaurant called Pars Cove. It's less than two blocks from my house, and the people there are really great. The downside is the money. I haven't been able to make ends meet without help, lately, which is why I'm in the process of finding a new job.
Tomorrow I have a trial-day as a nanny for a family in Lincoln Park. Three children: 10, 2 and 1. Their mother is a well-known sex therapist. She's written books, runs a center on the Northwestern Campus, and has her own show on Showtime! It's excellent money, but the job isn't guaranteed until after tomorrow. I hope that I do well, but if it doesn't pan out I may continue to search for nanny positions in the area. I'm in a tight spot right now, but I'm finally starting to figure out what my options are and how to pursue them.
Haili visited for New Year's! We spent the evening at the Congress Hotel with Will's friends (Will was working at this restaurant on Navy Pier). I'm not sure that there's a PC way of describing the crowd there. Let's just say we stood out. Perhaps this picture will demonstrate. Haili did her to best to blend in with her surroundings, as you can see, but her white freckly skin and red hair didn't help her cause.
We paid VIP prices and were promised access to all of the rooms and a buffet, which consisted of sweaty cheese cubes and a couple of meatballs. Very posh, I know. On a more positive note, there was a nice little balloon drop situation at midnight, and the Packers beat the Bears that night. We managed to have some fun.
The next day Haili tried sushi for the first time! With chopsticks! She tried the California Roll and the Philadelphia Roll. She preferred the California Roll. That night, Will took us to his friend Pat's place where Pat made us steaks. Delicious. Afterwards, we watched beauty and the geek, played cards, and had a few beers. Haili and I had a great time, and became quite the city girl. She left yesterday on a Greyhound.
I've really fallen in love with the city over the past few months. Now that I've settled into Chicago, I'll try to update more often.
I began and ended work at Red Lobster downtown. The job itself was not enjoyable for lots of reasons, but those agonizing 2-3 weeks weren't completely useless. I met Brian, who I became friends with. More importantly, I met Will! Will is a really great guy, and we have a lot in common.
After Red Lobster, I started work at a Persian restaurant called Pars Cove. It's less than two blocks from my house, and the people there are really great. The downside is the money. I haven't been able to make ends meet without help, lately, which is why I'm in the process of finding a new job.
Tomorrow I have a trial-day as a nanny for a family in Lincoln Park. Three children: 10, 2 and 1. Their mother is a well-known sex therapist. She's written books, runs a center on the Northwestern Campus, and has her own show on Showtime! It's excellent money, but the job isn't guaranteed until after tomorrow. I hope that I do well, but if it doesn't pan out I may continue to search for nanny positions in the area. I'm in a tight spot right now, but I'm finally starting to figure out what my options are and how to pursue them.
Haili visited for New Year's! We spent the evening at the Congress Hotel with Will's friends (Will was working at this restaurant on Navy Pier). I'm not sure that there's a PC way of describing the crowd there. Let's just say we stood out. Perhaps this picture will demonstrate. Haili did her to best to blend in with her surroundings, as you can see, but her white freckly skin and red hair didn't help her cause.
We paid VIP prices and were promised access to all of the rooms and a buffet, which consisted of sweaty cheese cubes and a couple of meatballs. Very posh, I know. On a more positive note, there was a nice little balloon drop situation at midnight, and the Packers beat the Bears that night. We managed to have some fun.
The next day Haili tried sushi for the first time! With chopsticks! She tried the California Roll and the Philadelphia Roll. She preferred the California Roll. That night, Will took us to his friend Pat's place where Pat made us steaks. Delicious. Afterwards, we watched beauty and the geek, played cards, and had a few beers. Haili and I had a great time, and became quite the city girl. She left yesterday on a Greyhound.I've really fallen in love with the city over the past few months. Now that I've settled into Chicago, I'll try to update more often.
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