here it is

monday. chicago was overcast. in the evening i went to my first jiu jitsu class with hanette and loved it. girls smell better than boys, which is good. my abs have hurt since.

tuesday. it was raining here. and chilly. amanda drove her mazda through a yellow light and into an electric blue nissan that was turning left from the opposite direction. i was in the passenger seat. accident number two for the west belden carpool, although it was a different driver and half the personnel. first graders visited the elderly home across the street and rocked the house with tutti frutti. an old woman held my hand and cried as she told me about her grandson, robert, who she never sees. i went to bed early. sore from jiu jitsu and the car accident.

wednesday. i told my principal and team leader i'm moving to madison. they were incredibly kind with their responses. i went to jiu jitsu again and felt really good when it was over. i'm less sore and beginning to feel stronger. hanette told will i'll be pretty good. i had no idea i'd like it. i almost didn't try it. you miss all the shots you don't take. didn't wayne gretzky say that? i can't believe i just quoted a hockey player.

chicago haiku

(1)
lake michigan wind
hold your breath, it breathes for you
inhale & exhale

(2)
twenty-one floors up
we pile up high like pancakes
living in the sky

(3)
forty-five minutes
an ant in his crowded 'hill
for only eight miles

(4)
red doesn't mean stop
it means go you can make it
where people don't care

(5)
look south and don't blink
a stretched and crooked night light
keeps a glowing watch

(6)
that c-t-a man
has a job we're all green for.
never goes away.











wrightwood.
please exit at the rear.
michigan.
no eating, smoking gambling..
fullerton. fullerton. fullerton.

here's what really happened

belated photos from mahboobeh's birthday. as promised.







mah & me.


















one robinson + one almost robinson
















katie & me.

what if my head was a fish?

it's the first official day of spring break. gone are the days of foam parties and usher's reverberating "yeah," waking up in mexico with pink eye, or in madtown with a hangover that could kill a small dog. today, i made two eggs, over easy, with toast and coffee, put my hair in a bun, and turned on oprah. will took the day off, too, and is laying in bed. he has a hard time knowing i have the day off and not taking advantage of the day himself. i think this is the third time he's done it this school year. i told him this was all fine as long as he didn't try to change the channel until the morning shows were over. fortunately for him, he may sleep through them.

i talked to the female jiu jitsu instructor from our gym last night at the fights. (jay and katie took us to the wec fights, which was nice of them.) next monday i'm going to try the free, all girls' class. she's bringing me a gi for that day. i can't wait to try.

madison is getting closer again. soon i'll be looking for a job there. i read the isthmus and imagine things. it's been three years of chicago and me. i'll have to rename my blog. (any ideas?) and reorganize my life. i moved into my lincoln park studio in 2006, single. this summer, i'll be married and living in madison. my life story is going so fast. it's the chapter in the book that frustrates you because it lets all these things happen to the character within barely two pages. more summaries than details. a timeline, above all else. which is why i have to sit and write sometimes. rediscover the details and acknowledge them as they dart around my feet.

going home to green bay on wednesday. i'll do wedding things and see my friends and family. we still don't have a cake. ties, a dress for the jr. bridesmaid, centerpieces. all those things.

someone at will's work said the other day that it would have been better if mermaids had fish heads and woman bodies instead of the other way around. better for the lonely sailors, that is. that day, i asked will if he liked my face and he said of course he does. i just had to make sure.